28 Jan


Each week I have a number of mommy’s who approach me asking for some help to break out of mommy mode ….. and at the same time, there are other mommy’s who wonder why they would ever want to do that?

The women of Pur, so many of us, are also mommy’s like you. When we decided to have children we too came to a place of wonder ….. if I give myself attention, doesn’t that mean I’m not a good mother?

We would argue over here at the “Pur Life” that you are not being a good mother by putting your children in front of you all the time. Is that noble, sure…. but it’s also insane for many reasons.

Women are the managers and leaders of their homes… and while many women have amazing partners to do this with, many women don’t…. and when you keep subtracting energy and passion and self awareness away from a woman…. she has less and less impact among her personal and professional life.

You might know a few of these women just through their behavior alone. They are irritable, they manage with a heavy hand and maybe a microscope. They are always trying to control certain aspects of their life and they struggle with decision making for themselves. These woman typically are fairly judgmental about how other mothers do it and they participate readily in the mommy wars. These are typically the women who suspect affairs when affairs are not happening and their other half’s usually complain about their nagging-esque ways and means. These are also the women who tend to be the most insecure about what they look like and usually use material items to make up for the lack of inner substance. They also might be the first to use PMS to excuse their behavior and have plenty of excuses when it comes to their overall health.

The damaging affect that all of this plays on the woman is heartbreaking, but even worse….. the impression it leaves on their children is far more painful. When we show up to every single classroom summons, when we stay up all night perfecting the science project when we bust our ass 5-ways to Sunday to get them to their six extra-curriculars in one night…. when we put our children at the center of our universe, our children lose.

How?…. how can that be…..

When these children grow up….. they are the adults who have the hardest time adapting to the real world. They are the adults who expect special treatment and live with a sense of entitlement always seeking to gain monetarily from their behavior. Wow right?…. What’s more scary…… they pass this along to their children and we watch history rinse and repeat.

Do you see this in your own children? Maybe your daughter has an attitude problem and you excuse it because… well, she’s 9-years-old….. and that’s just what 9-year-olds do. Nope, sorry….. EXCUSE. Maybe your son is constantly flexing his boyhood muscle with his friends…. and you pass it off as competitive. Nope, sorry…. excuse!

And the even more sad part is….. we are teaching our kids that when they have kids, they too should give up their passions and dreams for their own children… and forget themselves within their own life.

Here is the good news….. you can change it today. Taking time out to be your own person will do wonders for your personal and even professional life. You will be a better mother….. not just because you got an hour to yourself to paint your nails, but because your children had to fend for themselves a little…. because they had to “figure it out” without you… and that behavior gives them a sense of accomplishment which BREEDS self confidence!

So…. go on mommy….. go do something for you and trust that your kids can figure out a few things for themselves! They will love you for it!



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